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Strictly speaking, of course, even indifference is a feeling, but I knew what they meant: They wanted to know if they could have sex without caring: devoid of vulnerability, even with disregard for a partner. I thought about those boys this week as I watched Harvey Weinstein, in an Oscar-worthy performance of abject harmlessness, hobble on his walker into the New York Supreme Court in Manhattan. The MeToo movement has exposed sexual misconduct, coercion and harassment across every sector of society. Weinstein ends up with fingers crossed the longest prison sentence in history. To make real change we need to tackle something larger and more systemic: the pervasive culture that urges boys toward disrespect and detachment in their intimate encounters. I never intended to write about boys. But four years ago, after publishing a book about the contradictions young women still face in their intimate encounters, I realized, perhaps inevitably, that if I truly wanted to promote safer, more enjoyable, more egalitarian sexual relationships among young people, I needed to have the other half of the conversation. So I began interviewing young men — dozens, of different backgrounds, in their early teens and 20s — about sex and love, hookup culture and relationships, masculinity and media, sexual consent and misconduct. Few of the boys had previously had such conversations. Certainly not with their parents, most of whom would rather poke themselves in the eye with a fork than speak frankly to their sons about sex.
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MATERIALS AND METHODS

Christine E. Kaestle, Carolyn T. Halpern, William C. Miller, Carol A. The authors examined the relation between age at first vaginal intercourse and a positive nucleic acid amplification test for sexually transmitted infection STI. A nationally representative sample of 9, respondents aged 18—26 years was tested for chlamydial infection, gonorrhea, and trichomoniasis in wave 3 — of the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health. The authors used multiple logistic regression to assess the relation between age at first sexual intercourse and these STIs and to examine variation by current age, sex, race, and ethnicity. Younger ages at first intercourse were associated with higher odds of STI in comparison with older ages, but the effect diminished with increasing current age. Thus, earlier initiation of sexual intercourse is strongly associated with STIs for older adolescents but not for young adults over age 23 years. Sexual intercourse is commonly initiated during adolescence 1.

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By Eric Spitznagel. January 11, pm Updated January 14, pm. Mason, a former college football player from suburban Milwaukee, was almost 20 years old when he lost his virginity. For Mason, the simple act of kissing was something he largely avoided in high school, afraid that without enough experience he would do it wrong. When he went to college he met a girl, Jeannie, who invited him back to her dorm room to fool around. Over the span of two years, Orenstein spoke to hundreds of boys across the United States, ranging in age from their early teens to mids and spanning all races, socioeconomic backgrounds, religious beliefs and even sexual orientations. According to the latest data by the General Social Survey, men between the ages of 18 and 29 are having less sex than ever; the number of abstinent men has nearly tripled in the last decade, from 10 percent in to 28 percent last year. This paralyzing fear of sexual inadequacy begins for many boys with online pornography. They made it seem so convincing. Dylan, 17, is a high-school junior in Northern California.

By Eric Spitznagel. January 11, pm Updated January 14, pm. Mason, a former college football player from suburban Milwaukee, was almost 20 years old when he lost his virginity. For Mason, the simple act of kissing was something he largely avoided in high school, afraid that without enough experience he would do it wrong.

When he went to college he met a girl, Jeannie, who invited him back to her dorm room to fool around. Over the span of two years, Orenstein spoke to hundreds of boys across the United States, ranging in age from their early teens to mids and spanning all races, socioeconomic backgrounds, religious beliefs and even sexual orientations. According to the latest data by the General Social Survey, men between the ages of 18 and 29 are having less sex than ever; the number of abstinent men has nearly tripled in the last decade, from 10 percent in to 28 percent last year.

This paralyzing fear of sexual inadequacy begins for many boys with online pornography. They made it seem so convincing. Dylan, 17, is a high-school junior in Northern California. She dragged Dylan, stumbling, to the bathroom and had sex with him on the floor. The next morning, Dylan was horrified and asked Julia why she forced herself on him. It was a bias that even Orenstein admits to having. Was it rape? She recalls a college sophomore who told her of losing his virginity at 14 to a year-old girl at his first high-school party.

According to a study at Columbia University, 80 percent of victims of sexual assault were women, but men were also being increasingly targeted, with one in eight male students reporting being coerced into non-consensual sex. And in a study at New York University, sociologist Jessie Ford interviewed 40 straight male and female college students about their sexual experiences.

When young men have sex forced upon them, it sends mixed signals — and makes it harder for them to understand the concept of consent altogether. His father walked in and saw what he was doing. He just turned on the TV, watched it silently with his son, and then went to bed. For Mason, it finally happened with his girlfriend Jeannie, who repeatedly tried and failed to seduce him.

After their third date together, in which Mason declined to have sex with her yet again, she asked him pointed questions about his anxiety, and why sex felt so scary to him. Her openness to his insecurity and lack of sexual confidence allowed him to let his guard down. Read Next. How to change your life in with these 'tiny habits'.

This story has been shared , times. This story has been shared 90, times. This story has been shared 84, times. Learn More.

View author archive Get author RSS feed. Name required. Email required. Comment required. Enlarge Image. Boys will be boys, but how do they learn to be intimate with women? These days it's often by watching porn, which can cause anxiety and insecurity.

NY Post photo composite. More On: sex. Even holding hands felt like it came with the risk of humiliation. She texted him the next day, inviting him over to try again. He was also, until recently, a virgin. All guys want it. Read Next How to change your life in with these 'tiny habits'. Share Selection.

Now On Now on Page Six. Video length 30 seconds China coronavirus hotel collapse: Man rescued after 69 hours. This handy gadget backs up your phone every time you charge it. More Stories. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.



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